Valenti

Chapter One: Outcast
Valenti brushed a lock of his dirty blond hair out of his eyes, although he soon regretted it. What lay before his eyes was indescribable, the Bungie.net forums were in chaos. Most of the staff were lying on he ground, motionless. It seemed that the constant trolling and flaming of Bnet was finally out of control. Valenti suddenly got thrown backward when he was hit with a red glowing orb, upon standing, he immediately clutched his head in a desperate attempt to quell the annoying voices inside of his head.

Valenti had just been trolled.

The twenty-four year old saw the troll, a pathetic waste of bandwidth with the username '5starrbr'. Growling in a fierce manner, Valenti charged two orbs behind his back, and as he brought both of the orbs forward, he smashed them together, creating an intense blast of common sense and epic win that decimated the troll in an instant.

"I need to find somewhere new," Valenti sighed to himself, "I'm not sure I can handle more of these douchebags.".

As if Shishka was watching over him, two more trolls appeared in front of him, and began firing endless blasts of faggotry and fail at Valenti. Valenti evaded the trolls the best he could, as he ran towards a white portal, a saving grace. Just as the cockjugglers shot a huge blast at Valenti, the blond dissipated into thin air, and the blast hit the Halo 3 forum. Valenti had no doubt the Halo 3 forum had became little more than rubble.

Valenti looked around the interwebs. Looking for a safe haven.

A new place to call home.

Trademarked Words & Phrases
The following words and phrases are trademarked to Valenti. If used without permission, the punishment will be Hannah Montana music played at a very loud volume until insanity occurs or the victim's head asplodes.


 * Wootness
 * Durrrrrr
 * -2
 * Win-biscuits and l33t-gravy
 * White-fro
 * Win 2 da sawce
 * Jiffy-lube it up

Did You Know?

 * That Valenti has a five month old russian blue named Valentine?
 * That Valenti was born on Christmas?
 * That Valenti thinks he is a professional Halo 3 player just because he's attended events ? (Even though a pro finishes top 16)
 * That Valenti's real name is Nathan Wheeler?
 * That Valenti's skype name is ValentiCat?
 * That Valenti's evil twin is Brouk?
 * That if Valenti could have a superpower it would be telekinesis?